Book Review and Reflection of Living, Loving and Lying Awake at Night by Sindiwe Magona

Published: 2003
Genre: Short Story Collection / Literary Fiction

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Introduction

Motherhood is a multitude of existence. When one becomes a mother, they cease to exist for themselves. The first chapter of Living, Loving and Lying Awake at Night reflects this. Mothers are charged with bringing life into the world, cultivating it, pruning it, watering it, and caring for it. Most mothers would do anything for their children’s well-being and survival. Sometimes, it means leaving them (physically) to be their mother, as one of the protagonists in this book emphasised.

Book Summary and Reflections

Living, Loving, and Lying Awake at Night is a collection of short stories in two parts. Part one consists of nine short chapters about women at work, maids, and their’ modems’, titled after these working women. Part two consists of seven short chapters and focuses on other stories.

The first chapter follows Atini, a woman living in destitution with her children. Her husband works away often and hardly sends anything their way in terms of sustenance. She must make a difficult decision. She must decide what to do to be a mother to her children. She decided to leave them, realising: “I would not be a mother if I didn’t do this.” (p. 7)

The following chapters in this book also surround Atini’s story, but more on how she listens to the narrations of other maids – gossiping monologues, where the women come to Atini to tell her about their ‘medems’ and warn her of her medem, including things to look out for and so on. Atini does not say anything during these visits, but her reflections are reserved for the final chapter in Part One.

As the women narrate their stories and troubles, they are utterly hilarious, but they express various vital themes, such as the inequalities between whites and blacks in South Africa during that time and, probably, for some, today still. Their exploitative working conditions and the lack of advancement in some of their lives. Atini helps us understand the humour in her reflections in Chapter 9 — laughter is a better option than crying.

This brings me back to the notion of Black Joy, which Elaine Nichols explains: “When people live in a world that devalues them because they are black or brown and dismisses their contributions to the larger society, Black Joy is and has been an effective tool that has allowed individuals and groups to shift the impact of negative narratives and events in their favor.”

Therefore, it is not because these women do not see the terrible realities of their lives but because, in the midst of all that, they choose to find moments of joy, not in the happy-go-lucky type of way but in a way that resists, that is resilient, and that reclaims, as Elaine Nichols states. We see similar Black Joy exhibited in We Need New Names by NoViolet Bulawayo.

White women employ black women. Women with their own families are treated less than human by their ‘medems’. Many of the stories explore exploitation, but also highlight agency. Joyce particularly stood out to me. She is young and political – she speaks of inequalities and human rights and makes a case for why whites and blacks should all have the same benefits and treatment. However, upon closer examination of the other stories, the other women also speak of these inequalities, questioning how they are treated and how their humanity is often regarded or disregarded.

Stella, in Chapter 3, for instance, ends her monologue with: “Ho! White people! You slave for them. Slave for their children. slave for their friends. Even slave for their cats and dogs. And they thank you with a kick in the back.” (p. 19). The women use animals and other objects to emphasise how inhumane they are treated.

Atini stated it in a profound manner when she stated: “They hate to see anything free. The flowers of the veld – made for fresh air, sunshine, and freedom – they pluck and imprison inside their houses. Like us, the flowers have no choice.” (p. 54)

Joyce is young and a feminist. She especially questions the wages paid to the maids and compares how white women’s lives will advance. In contrast, the black women working with them cannot advance because of the ridiculous pay they receive. We see this same theme woven in all the stories, too, in the older maids stuck with their employers and in Atini’s reflections.

On top of that, the white women infantilise the black women who work for them. Atini compared the wages they pay to those of white women’s twelve-year-old children’s allowances. She reflects: “white women may grow; they may become distingusidhed writters, champion golfers, renowned fashiondesigners, executives, and anything else; it is the unappreciated black women, who slave for them for next to nothing, who give them the time to indulge their fancies, follow their dreams, and live their fantasies to the fullest.” (p. 41)

The women in general refer to their work as “slave work” (p. 43). In Chapter 9, Atini reflects on how black women lack the tools to achieve anything; they cannot thrive, merely survive: “Where would I get the money to pay anyone enough?” I don’t get enough myself. Enough is not for people like me. It is a word that has one meaning for us. Trouble. That is about the only thing we have enough of. Not wages. Not food. Not money. Not clothes. Not children’s books. Not house. Not marriage. Not doctors…” (p. 51). This again reinforces the exploitative relationships these women had with their employers, working almost for free, which is deeply exploitative.

Atini speaks of not having a pass, and this implies that the book was set in apartheid South Africa, and as such, these women’s experiences are very much in line with that system. They were hardly allowed to go home to their families, too, a common element of the apartheid exploitative system.

But Atini raises a poignant point, both the Black women and the white women are suffering, just in different ways. This brings to mind the patriarchy that also affects white women. In the apartheid era, many of these women were confined to the home. None of these ‘medems’ actually worked; they were home all day, save for that occasional visit to the beauty shop or maybe to town, but in a way, they are stuck at home. They depend on their Black women employees, and they take out their frustrations on them. In this, they get to exercise some form of power, because their larger society gives much of that to the white men.

The book’s second half was completely disjointed from the first half, which threw me off. I read the stories that came, all in their differences and complexities, all interesting but different from Atini’s stories. But this is the nature of short stories. They are different. I had to step away from the book for a few days to calibrate and return to it. It did feel like I was reading two or more books, but the themes of injustice, inequality, apartheid, poverty, hope, and the fight for better conditions remain visible throughout.

Recommendation

This is a short story book; if you enjoy short stories, please go for it. You can read it at your own pace and do not necessarily have to remember what happened before (save for the book’s first half to connect the stories).

This book may be hard to follow if you require a long, coherent narrative, especially in the second half. But all in all, the stories told here are important and raise questions about apartheid and post-apartheid South Africa. Sindiwe Magona is also one of my favourite South African authors. I love her writing style; she masterfully breaks down complexity without losing sight of the critical message in such complex stories.

About the Author

Dr Sindiwe Magona is a South African author who has published widely, including two autobiographies. Her works include: To My Children’s Children and Forced To Grow; two collections of short stories: Living, Loving and Lying Awake at Night and Push-Push and Other Stories; and four novels: Mother to Mother, Beauty’s Gift, Life is a Hard but Beautiful Thing, and Chasing Tails of My Father’s Cattle!

Dr Magona has also received various recognitions, including a Lifetime Achievement Award (2007) for contributing to South African literature.